The Silly Morning Herald

Talking citrus fruit discovered

Farmers on the NSW North Coast have reportedly discovered several breeds of citrus fruit which are capable of speech.

“At this stage it is unclear what exactly the fruit are saying, or even what language they are using,” said linguist Chris Grove, “however, it is tolerably clear that the fruit are capable of experiencing basic emotions and are evincing a desire to communicate these. From our study of this phenomenon, it appears that the oranges are pleased about something while the lemons are feeling sour. We are having difficulty interpreting the limes, but the general consensus is that they may be jealous of the oranges. The mandarins seem to be talking crap, but this may be a misunderstanding on our part.”

Volunteers with foreign language skills are being sought to assist in the project to understand the fruit. “We would welcome assistance from anyone with a flair for languages,” said Grove “We would be particularly keen to hear from any mandarin interpreters who may be available.”

TIGHT LIPPED: This orange declined to comment when questioned about the remarkable new talking fruit phenomenon.

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