The Silly Morning Herald
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updated
regularly * last updated May 22
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THIS WEEK’S TOP
STORIES
SPECIAL
FEATURE Silly
Morning Herald goes online dating
We decide
to liven up RSVP. Click here for full story.
Contestants fail to
turn up for Laziest Man competition
The Guinness Book of Records has been forced to reopen
its search for participants to compete for the title of the World’s
Convenience Stores on
alert as Cookie Monster rampage continues
The Cookie Monster has
continued his reign of terror in Sydney’s inner west. Full
story
Koala files for
bankruptcy
A Sydney koala has become the
first marsupial to file for bankruptcy following the failure of her small
business. Full story
Spider unimpressed with Telstra customer service
A spider
has lodged a complaint with the Telecommunications Ombudsman after Telstra
technicians locked the spider out of a switch cupboard where the spider had
established a home. Full
story
Talking oranges slam
Howard IR reforms
Nearly 100 talking oranges
from a North Coast orchard have staged a walk-out in protest at the Howard
Government’s proposed Industrial Relations reforms. Full story
Dick expands again
Dick Smith’s plan to rule the
world has taken another step forward with the release of a new Australian-made
cream cheese spread. Full story
Pepsi turns up the
estrogen
Pepsi has announced a new addition to its lucrative
line of diet cola products, with stupid female consumers to be the target
market. Full story
Chaser comedians in
trouble again
Fresh from their controversial run-in with a witness
at the AWB enquiry, the Chaser crew is
under fire again after another stunt backfired yesterday. Full story
Chocolate milk Giant
blunders once more
The giant who was last week
charged with maliciously destroying a Moove factory yesterday caused further
chaos by ripping an ice-cream stand from its foundations. Full story
Fin Review cans Mohammed ads
The Australian Financial Review has canned its recent advertising
campaign featuring the prophet Mohammed. Full story
And now….a message from our sponsor
Shopping Trolley Australia is the number one magazine for enthusiasts of
Australian shopping trolleys. Find out more about this great publication. Full story
Beach nerd arrested
A 45 year
old man was arrested by Waverley Police yesterday after officers spotted the
man failing to participate in a conversation at a family picnic on Bondi
Beach. Full story
Bus operator offers
to service women for Valentines Day
Valentine’s Day is coming up, and the State Transit
Authority will be running a special sale for all those men still searching for
that perfect gift for their wife or girlfriend. Full
story
Prime Minister endorses Dandruff Week
This week is National
Dandruff Awareness week and members of the public can show their support for
dandruff sufferers by buying a lamington from volunteers who will be
circulating in the CBD this Friday. Full story
Simpsons cartoon fans
outraged by bold move
Channel Ten today defended
its decision to move the long running cartoon show The Simpsons from its usual evening timeslot to 3pm on weekdays. Full
story
Milk factory annoys giant
Retailers are warning of a
potentially catastrophic shortage of chocolate milk this summer after a giant
destroyed a Moove factory last night. Full story
Talking citrus fruit discovered
Farmers on the NSW North
Coast have reportedly discovered several breeds of citrus fruit which are
capable of speech. Full
story
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